December 18, 2010

Ran When Parked's used car lot.

At Ran When Parked's used car lot we're liquidating our stock of certified pre-owned vehicles!

Our first offering is a 1994 Renault Safrane. This is your chance to own the car that hauled around members of the French government when it was new. Loaded with power everything, alloy wheels and a 2.2 gas engine, it's ready to take you anywhere you want to go in style. Runs like a champ, extremely well-maintained!

If you want a smaller car, a 2002 Renault Megane would be perfect for you. 2002 was the last year of the mk1 Meganes so you can buy knowing you are getting the most refined mk1 Renault has ever built.* Clean Carfax, certified one-owned car. Big enough to fit a family but small enough to fit in even the tightest parking spots, this Megane is the best of both worlds:

The Renault Clio has been one of the best-selling cars on the French market since it was introduced. Own one today and find out for yourself how enjoyable to drive a Clio can be. This 2003 model has lots of new parts** and is powered by a 1.2 gas engine:

If you like discrete cars, we have just the car for you. It's hard to get more discrete than a 1995 Citroen ZX. It has a 1.9 diesel engine that if you're a Citroen enthusiast you know is bulletproof. If you're not a Citroen enthusiast get ready to become one after a short, engaging drive in a ZX. Low miles and still covered by the factory warranty:

This 1987 Renault 19 was designed almost exclusively with computers, and it shows. Where else can you find such an eye pleasing, ergonomical design at an affordable price? And because Renault seemingly used up all of the project's money on the computers to design it, they opted to power it with the 1.2 ClĂ©on Fonte four-cylinder that was already a proven part of their lineup² :

Wild in its austerity and big in its smallness, this 1989 Volkswagen Polo is the perfect commuter car thanks to its low weight and 1.0 four-cylinder carbureted engine. This is a car you can be proud to call your own. Low miles, comes with our unbeatable one year/15 mile warranty:

2000 Fiat Palio Weekend. Based on the Fiat Uno, the Palio Weekend is the perfect family car down to its name - its station wagon body allows you to fit all of your stuff, all of your kids' stuff and all of the necessary tools to repair your water pump on the side of the road when it seizes 170 miles away from home. Speaking of, spare parts are readily available³ :

A 2001 Seat Arosa, based on the Volkswagen Lupo and drawn by the same man who designed the Bugatti Veyron. Need we say more? I think not, but we will add that this hot little hatch has 49 screaming horses under the hood:

For over a hundred years Mercedes-Benz has been the standard for quality motor cars. We are proud to offer you one of their finest designs, a 1970 w113 250SL. Imagine how advanced this car was in its day: it already had fuel injection, four disc brakes, and a removable hard top for rainy days. *² Professionally restored by the Mercedes-Benz Classic Center in Stuttgart, this car is ready for the next Monterey Concours:

Imagine the look on your wife's face when you surprise her for Christmas with a certified used car from Ran When Parked's used car lot! There's never been a better time to buy!

* The mk1 Megane was also horribly obsolete by 2002.
** Recently removed.
Since it was introduced on the Renault 8 in 1962.
In most third world countries.
*² Needs to be.

Note: none of the cars above are ours or actually for sale.


Antony said...

Wikileaks just exposed the earlier, correct name of the dealership, called Ran[, then Vandalized, Stripped, and Brutalized] When Parked used car lot, before it was changed to cover up the truth...

James said...

Ahahaha pure gold, guys, I love it.

49 screaming (in agony) horses!